#42: How to find your 'thing'.
The Great (Career) Escape.
What’s next for you? The next step, the next job, the next challenge?
Forever people have been going into new jobs because they say they need a new challenge, but how often are we in control of what that looks like? It’s generally a passive experience. See job advertised, apply, get interviewed, receive offer, start, and ta dah! New challenge beginneth.
I’m going to see Guns n’ (f’n) Roses on Friday. It’s going to be a great day in London. So I put on a GnR playlist for some inspiration of what to share with you today, and Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door comes on. Not my favouritist of their songs, but it got me thinking about “The Plan”.
“The Plan” has cropped up quite about this last couple of weeks in my coaching practice, particularly relating to careers, and what to do next - or longer term.
I didn’t have much of a plan for this piece of writing but sometimes some inspiration and a bit of dedicated thought and processing can make it appear, like a vision that I can then start working on developing into a plan.
TLDR: Set the vision, make the plan, get to work on it.
None of us are getting younger. We’re a long while dead, as Winston Churchill probably used to say (or not), so we’re as well to make the most of it, I guess.
Life expectancy in the UK between 2018-2020 was 79 years for males and 82.9 for females. I imagine it’s taken a hit in the last couple of years, sadly, but if anything it serves to remind us that the 40-50 years we typically have to meaningfully contribute (ie work, earn money, create etc) can disappear quite quickly.
At 48, that means I’ve got on average another 31 years. 1617 weeks. Do I really want to be working when I’m 79? I’m not Harrison Ford, so no. so let’s say 10 years. That’s 522 weeks.
I’ve been working in recruitment since March 1998 (1317 weeks). Since then, I’ve had real “what the shit am I doing with my life?” self-talk on many, many occasions.
Great escaping was Steve’s speciality.
Once, I decided I was going to become a property developer. In fact, I’d wanted to do it many times. I bought a run-down house with my wife when she was enormously pregnant (for regular viewers of Grand Designs, you’ll know pregnancy during a house renovation is almost mandatory), and between us and some semi-reliable tradespeople we managed to turn it around. It wasn’t terribly profitable (about 25% of what we expected) so decided there were better ways to spend 6 months of dark, cold evenings.
Once, I decided to become a photographer. I did the maths to work out how many unframed prints of my photography I would need to sell to even vaguely describe the proceeds as an income. I did a couple of weddings, sold some prints. Thankfully, I didn’t quit my day job.
Once, I mowed a few lawns and cut a few hedges while I was between jobs. Better to be busy, I thought, but it wasn’t really paying the mortgage.
Once, when I had a great (but increasingly frustrating) job, I quit with nothing concrete to go to. I went contracting - on project management gigs in the world of recruitment and resourcing. It was a brave move. My big mortgage and my ability support my family and a robust lifestyle - was all at risk. I really wasn’t sure I was “enough”, but went for it1.
You know what? It paid off. I was given a couple of chances and off I went.
I was finally doing something I loved. 6-month projects all over the country, great brand names, meeting loads of cool (and some quite challenging) people, doing interesting work, learning a lot by jumping in at the deep end, pushing myself, and earning (very) decent money. In retrospect, it was like getting paid to do personal development and networking.
There was a dry spell though (6 bloody months!) and then I fell on a job at Amazon. I stayed there nearly three years before I realised…
that I wanted… no, needed to do something different with my life.
Achieve a better work life balance. Take back control. Work with people who I want to work with and who want to work with me. Do stuff that makes a difference. Not be part of a massive machine. That’s cool for some people (about a million and a half or so at the moment), but not for me.
So after some counselling support (yeah, mental health was in the gutter), I had a bit of a play for a few months before realising I could make a go of CV writing and interview coaching. I set up Phil Sterne Consulting Ltd. My first limited company was called Fix Resourcing, because for my corporate clients, that’s what it did. Perhaps I should’ve called my new business Fix Careers. Fix Jobs. Fix Life. I dunno. It matters not a jot.
I’ve learned a ton on the way, built on the experience of working interim gigs and that’s translated into (mostly) 1-1 engagements helping other people make the most of their time on this rock.
I’m fortunate. Throughout my life (and generally speaking) I’ve received encouragement, support, positivity and have fallen off the horse and got back on it again. That’s taught me that in the main, life’s gonna be ok. I’ve got to prove it to myself, and the detractors from all eras of my life. So I’ve taken and continue to take the risks.
But it doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing risky.
The ACTION you can take to change your career (and life):
Here’s some things I didn’t know about setting my own career path - and these are things you can apply to any aspect of your life you wish to improve. If I’d have known this framework it’d have really helped me work out what I was going to do next.
It’s one of many I’ve used or described. Horses for courses and all that. Give it a try.
This bit is interactive, so buckle in and grab a piece of paper and a pen. Write down these following 6 words, as it’s these that you need to make a proper change.
1 - Vision.
This is the starting place. Ask yourself these questions about your career:
What’s me in 3 years telling me I should have done?
What would I tell me 3 years ago to get on with NOW?
What would I do if I wasn’t afraid?
If I could flick a switch and the world tomorrow is perfect for me, what’s happening?
With each of these questions, try and flesh it out. What’s it look, feel, smell, and sound like? Who are you with, or where are you? What are the outcomes?
2 - Strategy.
So you’ve built out a challenge for yourself. You’ve got a sense of what would be like. Great! But… how do I get there? You need a strategy. A high level, but refined version of the the vision, with numbers, places, people. In 5 years (set your own timeline, 3 is good) I want to be doing this, earning that, spending more time with these people, and be in this place.
So who is that person you’re talking about in your future? You! So how can you be more of the future you, today?
3 - Mindset.
The first two words above take a bit of mind work and brain power. So with that in mind, you might need to do some work on yourself to reframe destructive thought patterns and labels - your self talk that’s getting in the way of progress, or even of making a decision to take action - and then taking the action. The day to day choices you’re making.
You’re choosing to make that commute. To talk to and put up with that dick at work. To take the crap pay, the being undervalued, or whatever. What if you chose to make a change?
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4 - Capability.
Or skills, knowledge, or tools. Either your own, or those of others you can bring in to support. What do you need to learn (or get someone else help with) to help you make the shift towards your vision and deploy the strategy? Write them down!
5 - Energy.
Making change requires energy. A lot of it. But we allow all sorts of crap sap it for us. The time vampires, the people pleasing, the choosing to say yes instead of no. The goddam life admin.
Write the things (or people’s names) down that drain you leaving only a husk for yourself. Now write down, if you were brutally honest with yourself, what you could do reduce those drains on your time and energy. That person you’re fed up with being a crutch for. The routine you have that adds little or no value. what can you outsource? For me, it was the cleaning. Carpets covered in bits and stinking bathrooms just got on top of me, so I paid someone to take that pain away. That’s one thing off the list.
Equally, what gives you energy? Where or who (or what types of people or activities) give you energy. Do more of that shit.
6 - Accountability.
This is the Daddy. The vision, strategy, mindset, capability and energy are all great - but you need to hold yourself accountable. A journal. A tick chart. A coach in your corner. A reciprocal arrangement with a friend. Whatever. Don’t waste all the effort of the first 5 words by forgetting about accountability.
That personal trainer’s not just there to give you a bunch of exercises, they’re there to kick your arse, and you know that if you don’t turn up you’re letting them down. That’s more important than letting yourself down. They’re there to hold you accountable.
Your situation and circumstances will be different. Everyone’s are. The point is, sometimes you have to be brave to take the steps you need in order to make a significant difference in your life. But do it with a plan, some kind of framework like the one above. And if you want, some support from me.
But, whatever you do, get on with it. You don’t want to be on your deathbed thinking “aw fuck, I didn’t do that 1452 weeks ago because I was a bit scared.” So, JFDI.2
So that’s it for this edition. If you liked it, share it with your friends (they can sign up to receive my missives here).If you didn’t, that’s fine too. No worries.
Til next time….
Phil
In the socials…
If you like what you’ve seen here, here’s some of my thoughts and quick wins from Linkedin and my blog back catalogue. Take a look - there may be something there you can put in to action straight away:
Here’s a quick one with a networking tip you’re probably missing out on.
Here’s a blog on the simplest hack to get going working for yourself.
And here’s a post to get you thinking about powerful insights that’ll change your life.
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Well done for getting this far. If you’d like more guidance on doing this for yourself, get on the waitlist for my book coming later this year. Working title “Enough Is Enough”.
Just Fucking Do It.