#16: I hadn't heard Rocket Queen.
And why you're not quite as good as you think.
I reckon it was 1989. Summertime.
I was 14, and we’d gone on a family bike ride (no lycra, padded shorts, wicking fabric, helmets, CamelPaks etc, just shorts, a t-shirt and some battered trainers).
Dad may have even had an actual jumper on.
Helmets at least should’ve been a gimme, but they just weren’t.
👆 Pretty sure this looks like my late 80s/early 90s MTB.
We found ourselves in a village where some family friends lived, and we ended up going in for a social interaction I would only really value later as an adult - “a cuppa”.
Whilst the parents were eating bourbons and drinking their PG Tips, and no doubt nattering about work, the garden or other boring topics, I did that thing that you do as a kid - I went and hung out with their kids.
They had two sons, and Matthew was either a year older or younger than me.
I forget which.
We kind of knew each other at school but weren’t friends as such.
Now, for background, I was quite a tight kid.
I loved music as and you should know by now, I’m a big fan of the rock 🤘🤘, but hadn’t quite got to grips with the whole concept of “supporting the artists”1.
At one point, I had three of those cassette carousels from Argos that each held 40 tapes. Only a very small percentage of them were, um, “originals”. Let’s say I should’ve had shares in TDK.
Up until that day in Felmersham, sitting listening to music in Matt’s bedroom, I thought I knew Appetite For Destruction back to front, front to back and inside out.
Every Axl lyric, Slash lick, Sorum drum part2…. from the upstanding hairs on the arms opening riff of Welcome To The Jungle, all the way through past the seminal Paradise City to Anything Goes right at the end, even with its peculiar fade - Guns n’ Roses’ debut studio album was sublime.
The last song came and went.
Wall to wall brilliance.
Hold on, what’s this?
Another song?
With this cool drum and bass guitar intro?
And then the guitar comes in.
Then the vocals? Whaaaat?
I then heard Rocket Queen for the first time. It was like I’d walked through the back of the wardrobe into a whole new world of rock.
Now, don’t get me wrong, Rocket Queen is by no means the best track on the album, but it was new. Like finding those hidden Hendrix demo tapes in the loft.
I could enjoy this album all over again!
So, why had I never heard it?
Well, Appetite For Destruction is a touch over 53 minutes long.
Rocket Queen is north of 6 minutes.
At some point I must have copied this album on to one side of a C90, completely missing off that song and presumably the end of Anything Goes too.
That was me being even tighter, you see - my frugality was biting me in the arse. I should have copied it on to a C60 in the first place, but you know, two albums, one tape and all that.
I’d gone probably the best part of 18 months in total and complete ignorance.
Matt dutifully did me a copy correctly split over the two 30-minute sides of a C60.
I probably still owe him a replacement blank tape.
👆 Notice side A and side B are actually side G and side R? Neat huh?
Life’s never been the same since.
Now last year, I was coaching a guy to help him get the next big job. He was unemployed and came to me through a programme I was supporting through Job Centre Plus.
He didn’t really understand why he was there, his CV was strong, his interviewing capability was great - he’d just been pipped to the post.
Out of 5, he rated himself as 4.5 as an interviewee. He wasn’t an arrogant man by any means, a really lovely guy - but he thought he knew pretty much all there was to know about interviewing. He’d just been unlucky.
Unfortunately what he had was a massive Rocket Queen blindspot.
In the learning and development world they call this unconscious incompetence.
He’d framed his lack of success at interview as being down to someone else being better than him on the day (externalised) rather than a short coming on his part (internalised).
As we went through his programme, I could see his “state” change. You know, when you can see a light bulb go on?
The feedback that had been so lacking from his interviews was now available to him, from me. In detail, real, actionable feedback and guidance.
Brushing over important details, waffly story telling, not actually answering the question (but answering a different one instead)… all came crisply into focus through those sessions.
We ran through many examples, types of questions and scenarios over the course of 3 hours. Building skill, techniques, and renewed confidence.
He learned how to identify and craft responses, slow down, tell the story, and get all the important stuff across whilst also being his authentic badass self.
A couple of weeks later, he was offered a fantastic Exec team role.
In his testimonial he said:
In my short time with Phil I applied for four jobs, got three interviews and two job offers.
I would really recommend Phil, however good you perceive your personal approach is, he’ll find ways to enhance it.
He’d been unemployed for 10 months.
When I asked him to rate himself again after the process he admitted that knowing what he now knew, he’d have rated himself as a 2 before, and 4.5 now.
So what?
There’s always room to grow… But it’s easier when someone else gives you the direction.
The Sign-off Bit
I’ve been re-listening to the whole album again while writing this, and thoroughly enjoying myself. I was particularly happy when my 15 year old daughter wandered in just now as was able to name the band.
One of Rocket Queen lyrics is “If you need a shoulder, or if you need a friend, I’ll be here standing until the bitter end.”
And I guess that’s what I do. I will help you find that blindspot, the unconscious incompetence that’s holding you back. Guide you through your interviews, and be that support.
In the meantime, I’m off to get my acoustic guitar, tune it to E flat and play You’re Crazy.
Toodle pip!
Phil
In the socials…
Take a look at these links if reading this email hasn’t satiated your need for more me in your life.
Here’s one about getting a great network of people around you who support your goals and ambitions - with a neat little video.
Here’s one on not lying in interview processes.
And here’s one about the need for self-critique.
Like this? see more of my stuff here.
Right, so the next email you receive from me is going to contain some big news, so look out for that. I’m now all about supporting the artist….
OK. I got it wrong, it was Steven Adler. My bad. One of my Rock Geek mates “reminded” me that Matt Sorum didn’t join the night train until 1990. Thank Stu.