#77: How to bring more "you" to your job
And be more of who you want to be.
You can be who you wanna be on any given day.
But what happens when you don’t quite know who that is?
Here’s an example.
For years and years I’ve struggled with knowing what to wear.
People wouldn’t necessarily know this, because whatever the occasion I’ll more than likely turn up in jeans, a rock band t-shirt, and some Nike mid court shoes, Vans slip ons, or Converse Chucks.
And a hoodie or flannel shirt. Vans, Quiksilver, Billabong.
And that’s kind of been my uniform.
Sort of rock skate surf dude.
Except I don’t skate, or surf. I bodyboard at best, thought I’ve been snowboarding once a year or so for the last 10 years. I also have the necessary VW Transporter, and go mountain biking pretty frequently.
These are all things I identify with. The vibe.
It’s the vibe these brands and styles bring that resonate so loudly.
It’s a relaxed, chilled out, sharing some beers and jokes and playing guitar round a campfire vibe. Maybe after a day’s shit-your-pants riding.
But then there’s the smart me.
The me who enjoys putting on a shirt, woven wool tie, a nice watch, and a jacket to go with some smart jeans and boots.
And the dark chinos me, with some reassuringly expensive shoes and a smart 3/4 length coat. And a shirt or plain t-shirt. Understated. Not covered in lairy brands.
And I’ll be honest, I find it consuming.
When I was at my lowest a few years ago, I found it so utterly draining - I’d spend ages fathoming what to wear, and once I’d left the house with no options for changing, I’d constantly overthink my attire.
I’d see other people at the same thing and think “Yeah, that would’ve been a good outfit choice, why didn’t I do that?” or “I think I’ve under/over dressed.”
The other evening I’d been invited to a Burn’s Night celebration at a friends house. Black tie. Awesome. My first Burn’s Night do ever, in my 50th year.
But the trousers to my tux didn’t fit. I explained to my friends that they’d inexplicably shrunk while hanging in a sealed suit bag in a wardrobe, untouched for 2 years.
So what did I do?
I thought “Fuck it” and went and bought some new (and incredibly inexpensive) black jeans from Tesco. Paired with the nice black shoes and the distracting tartan tie (yes, I have one) I pulled it off. I even said “Look, these are jeans” and did anyone else give a flying fuck?
No, of course not, and least of all me.
I should drag this metaphor round to jobs and careers.
Well, it’s easy to feel a bit schizophrenic when thinking about what you ‘do’.
You know, you’ve spent years doing different jobs, gaining different skills, maybe in different types of roles and in different industries. And that can get a bit confusing.
“What the fuck am I?”
My advice is to try not to over think it.
1 - I know that’s easier said than done. But consider all the stuff you’ve done over the years as your clothing, and that you have either a massive wardrobe (or even several) containing all the skills, attributes, and knowledge you’ve collected and used for different occasions.
You can decide how and when to pull out the right item for the job as and when you need to. And sometimes you’ll get it bang on, and sometimes you won’t, but you’ll learn in the process.
2 - Just like I waver between snowboarding/rock music/mountain biking guy and smart casual late forty-something gent, you can actually be two or three different things at once.
I heard a story about a guy who was a management consultant, but had also trained as a coach, and had technical capability too. He was lost in what he was or how he should market himself.
He really wanted to develop his coaching, but his nice six-figure consulting job was sort of getting in the way of that.
So his coach floated the idea of rather than ‘being’ a consultant or coach, that he just be himself in the aim of achieving what his job required of him - which was to help his clients transform their businesses through technology.
And he could pick and choose the ‘suit’ (or even let’s say the hat that he needed) to wear to get the job done.
<It’s new t-shirt day. I can’t quite work out how, as a child of the 70s and growing up in the 90s, this is the first Nirvana tee I’ve had in something like 30 years. I saw it when I was picking up those black jeans.>
And he realised he could bring out the coaching hat when he needed to - working with senior folks as he was, he could use his coaching skills to really get under the skin of what they were trying to achieve (and what that meant to the business and the individual client).
That builds trust, gets to the heart of the problem, continues to develop his coaching skills, and builds a personal connection with an individual who has now had an experience of working with that guy (albeit informally) as a coach.
Oh yeah! He doesn’t have to pigeon hole himself because of his job title. If you swap the word outfit for mindset, and imagine you carry a little bag of clothes and hats around with you, you can be multiple people throughout your day according to the need.
So my question for you is:
“What outfits can you bring out of your wardrobe this week, and how can you use them to best serve your customers?” Work backwards from your customer needs (or your ideal customer needs) and focus on using your skills to serve them powerfully.
My name’s Phil Sterne and I’ve 25 years or so in recruiting, operational leadership, project management, and setting up and running one-person businesses.
So I’ve worn a lot of outfits and hats over the years working at some big brands you’ll have heard of.
I work with leaders who have arrived at a careers crossroads, and help them work backwards from their ideal life to create new path to follow - and find the signposts they need on the way.
Sometimes that means I’ll help them reconstruct their CV, others I’ll work with for months and years acting as their sounding board, reality checker, bullshit detector, and cheerleader.
And you’ll often find me in a Metallica t-shirt.
Hit reply if you want to have a chat about working out what you’re doing with your life and career.
Or find me at one of these places:
My website | My LinkedIn profile
Resources:
My free CV template | My paperback book Escape Corporate W@nkery | My eBook Master Behavioural Interviews