#79: Do you know what you're great at?
You might be surprised. Is it "radically congruent"?
You know I talk a lot on here and in the socials about finding fulfilment in your work, and that that helps you live a happier life?
And that I write about the corporate wankery most of us face at some point in our careers?
And that you don’t actually have to suffer it for ever, and that you do have a choice?
Well, if you’re so deep in that very wankery, what follows might resonate more than my plain English descriptions of what I do and what I’m great at.
For a bit of fun, and mostly for my own amusement, I asked one of our favourite AIs to come up with some new descriptions of what I do and how I help people who are having the life sucked out of them at work.
But I didn’t just want a straightforward interpretation from the numerous interactions chatGPT and I have had over the last few months.
I wanted it to lean into the very corporate wankery speak that so irritates me.
So strap in. What follows is the exact transcript from that AI conversation (You can also see this as a carousel on LinkedIn):
Initial prompt:
Can you come up with a line to describe what I do as if written in the most wanky of corporate speak possible? This is for a joke/spoof
ChatGPT said:
Absolutely, here’s a gloriously wanky version for your spoof:
“I empower high-performing human capital to transcend legacy career paradigms and architect bespoke, values-aligned professional ecosystems — through synergistic dialogue, actionable introspection, and strategic self-repositioning.”
Need it wankier? I can always dial it up another notch.
You said:
more wanky please
ChatGPT said:
Say no more — here’s an even wankier, fully turbocharged version:
“I catalyse paradigm-shifting professional reinvention by leveraging bespoke, insight-driven interventions that enable purpose-aligned operatives to optimise their vocational trajectory, transcend organisational entropy, and actualise their fullest potential within an emergent workscape.”
Would you like a PowerPoint slide to go with that? 😎
You said:
ha ha ha! Next-level wankery please!
ChatGPT said:
Alright, strapping in for next-level, intergalactic, jargon-fuelled wankery. Here you go:
“I orchestrate holistic recalibration initiatives that empower legacy-aligned professionals to operationalise existential inflection points, leveraging asymmetrical insight loops and psychoemotive UX strategies to deconstruct internalised performance architectures and co-create next-gen, sovereignty-led career ecosystems within a post-corporate metaframework.”
Let me know if you'd like it adapted for a TEDx talk in Davos or as an NFT.
You said:
Imagine this wankfest came out of the mouth of a certain US president.
ChatGPT said:
Oh absolutely. Imagine it delivered in that very specific, hand-gesturing, pauses-between-every-three-words cadence. Here it is, in the voice of a certain recent US president:
“Look, folks… nobody’s doing career transformation like we are. It’s tremendous, really. I mean — we’re talking about high-level recalibration… very advanced stuff… the best. We’re empowering professionals — the best people, very smart people — to leverage asymmetrical insight loops, OK? Nobody knew what those were before we came along. Nobody. We’re deconstructing old systems — broken systems — and building sovereignty-led career ecosystems. Not just frameworks… metaframeworks. Big word. Very powerful. Everybody’s talking about it. Even the Europeans — they’re calling, they want to know how we did it. Incredible.”
Want it in the style of Obama next? Or narrated by David Attenborough?
You said:
hilarious! now, can you do me one final piece in the super corporate, wide tie-wearing, arse kissing, alignment seeking, ultra-bellend style - but this time telling readers to book a call with me if they want out, and into something more... "them"? Tell them to press the appointment button on my profile or DM me.
ChatGPT said:
Absolutely. Here is your final boss level corporate cringe-call-to-action, in full “wide-tie-wearing, LinkedIn-warrior, synergy-sipping” glory:
🚨 ATTENTION PURPOSE-DRIVEN PROFESSIONALS 🚨
If you're currently embedded within a legacy career vertical, optimising outputs in alignment with upstream stakeholder expectations — yet feeling a persistent misalignment with your soul’s strategic objectives...
It might be time to pivot.
Let’s co-create a future-proof, values-led transformation roadmap that empowers you to exit the performative hamster wheel of perpetual deliverables — and rearchitect a career ecosystem that feels radically congruent with who you are becoming.
✨ If you're ready to transition from performative alignment to authentic actualisation...
📅 Tap the "Book an Appointment" button on my profile
📩 Or slide respectfully into my DMs — discretion guaranteed, synergy optional.
Let’s ideate your escape plan.
Let’s actualise your you-shaped worklife.
Let’s optimise... you.
Let me know if you want it narrated in the voice of a motivational speaker doing finger guns at a WeWork.
You said:
Yeah? Or you could just book a call.
So, there you go.
What I actually do, in human speak:
I work with SLT, ExCo, and high-performers who are at a crossroads, and are ready to do something different—whether that’s getting a new job, going solo, trying interim, freelancing, or just figuring out what meaningful looks like next.
You don’t need another five-point plan.
You need space to think.
A sounding board.
The questions no one else dares ask.
Working together, I’ll help you:
✔ Untangle your thinking
✔ Challenge the unhelpful stories
✔ Explore bold, practical paths forward
✔ Build the confidence to move
My clients say working with me is like unlocking a door they didn’t realise was shut.
I’ll reflect what you can’t yet see—and help you imagine what’s possible.
That’s what I do.
I help you identify the blockers and move them out the way. Or work out how to move around them.
If you feel like that’s what you need to do, let’s have a call to see how I can help.
Take care,
Phil
